Bruce in Wonderland
by Oni No Yami Chan
Summary: During a rather boring briefing, Bruce is suddenly called away by Phil Coulson, but for some reason things take a turn for the odd and Bruce finds himself in a strange world he could only describe as a Wonder-land. [Drabble request that got out of hand.]


How boring was this? Bruce slumped down in his seat slightly, listening to Fury lecturing about ethical workings of lab equipment that, honestly, he had no idea how to use and would probably never be in the same room with, so he had no real reason to be talking about it in the first place. Glancing around him, Bruce noticed that the others didn't seem as interested, either.

Tony was checking the time on his phone over and over again, though he was probably also waiting for a text of some sort. Steve, on Tony's other side, was trying to pay attention, but kept getting distracted by Tony's antics. Across the table from them, Natasha and Clint appeared to be passing notes back and forth.

Bruce sighed, tiredly, and slumped in his seat again when he heard someone trying to catch his attention. He glanced over at the door and saw Coulson, motioning for him to follow. Why would Coulson want to call him away from a super-important meeting that Fury called? Well, whatever the reason, Bruce wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth. He jumped up and rushed after Coulson, who gave him a strange smirk as he approached.

"What did you need me fo-" Bruce began before Coulson took off down the hallway.

"I... What..?" Bruce turned, watching Coulson go for a moment before he followed. "W-wait! Agent Coulson? Where are we going!?" he called, trying to keep up.

To his surprise, Coulson was incredibly fast. He moved up one hallway, down another, through doors. It seemed to never end. Strangely enough, as they kept going, Bruce found the halls of SHIELD looking very... Peculiar. More colorful was probably the best way to describe them. He glanced around him but ignored it. Perhaps he just hadn't been this way before.

Suddenly, Coulson disappeared around a corner. Bruce frowned in disapproval and followed only to find the floor suddenly gone. With a shout of surprise, he was falling, far and fast. For a while, fear gripped him until he noticed items floating slowly past him. He felt as though he was falling quickly, but everything around him appeared to be moving slow.

He reached a hand out, curiously, and pulled a book from a passing shelf. Opening it, he frowned and noticed quickly there were no words. "Strange," he murmured, gently setting the book on a passing desk.

Soon enough, he landed gently on checkered floor in the middle of a large circular room with doors all around. "Agent Coulson?" Bruce called. He turned quickly as a door closed to his left, catching just a glimpse of Phil before the door was closed.

"... This... How is this even happening?" he murmured, uncertainly, reaching out to open the door, only to find that it was much too small for him. "Oh, great," he grumbled, glancing around him uncertainly. There were so many doors, but Coulson had gone through that door. Should he wait until the agent came to retrieve him? Perhaps this was a test of some sort.

Bruce slowly moved away from the door and let out a small cry as his back bumped into a glass table, nearly knocking it over. Turning, he blinked at it. "Now where did you come from..?" he asked, uncertainly. He could have sworn there hadn't been a table there a moment ago.

Atop the table were only two items; a key, and a bottle with a little note reading "Drink Me!" on it.

"Very funny," Bruce sighed, picking the bottle up to examine it. He was almost certain by this point that this was a trick set up by Tony. But as he inspected the drink, he found that it smelled deliciously of blueberry. And the more he thought on it, the more Bruce realized he was a bit thirsty.

"Alright," he murmured, popping the top off. He paused, taking the key in his hand before he took a swig of the blueberry drink for good luck.

All at once, he felt that slow falling sensation once again, and he let out a cry when he realized he wasn't falling, but shrinking. He tried to grip the table to keep himself from getting any smaller, to no avail. However, when he stopped shrinking he realized that he'd been shrunken just enough to fit through the door.

He opened his mouth. Closed it. "I suppose there's no explaining this," he decided, hurrying to the door and unlocking it. He slipped through before any other strange thing could happen.

Well, unluckily for him he appeared to have stepped through the door and right into a forest of sorts. "Great," the doctor groaned. "Now where do I go?"

"Well," a familiar voice purred above him. "That all depends on where you want to go."

Bruce quickly looked up to find Natasha reclining on a tree branch just above his head.

"Natasha!" Bruce cried, relieved. However, when she rolled over on her branch, he jumped back a bit as a long, black and red striped tail curled up and around her. She had ears of a similar shade coming from her head. "Oh... Kay... This just got a whole lot weirder," Bruce noted.

Natasha grinned, her smile much wider than Bruce seemed to remember. "No need to be alarmed. You said you wanted to know where to go next, did you not?"

After a long moment of taking in his friend's appearance, Bruce slowly nodded. "I... I'm looking for Agent Coulson. Did he come past here?"

Rolling over again, Natasha disappeared suddenly and reappeared beside Bruce, raising an eyebrow at him. "The Handler? Perhaps I saw him. Perhaps I didn't," she replied, shrugging.

Bruce had to jump back again when she suddenly appeared, heart hammering in his chest. "I... Which way did he go?" he asked, desperately. He really, really wanted to get out of here. Wherever here was.

"Well," Natasha answered, peering at her nails, which were sharpened to points. "You could go left, or you could go right." She motioned to a marker at the end of the road with two hands. The one pointing left read 'Flower Garden,' while the one pointing right read 'Mad Tea Party.'

Taking a calming breath, Bruce approached the sign. "Well... I don't want to go to a mad tea party... So I guess... I'll go to the flower garden," he decided, looking at the path he'd chosen.

"Well then," Natasha chuckled. "It seems you knew where to go all along." A laugh echoed around as she disappeared from view once again.

After a long while of walking down his chosen path, Bruce began wondering if he'd ever find Coulson again. Or if he'd ever be back to normal.

"Perhaps they drugged me," he thought aloud as he walked. "I bet it was Tony's idea. He probably slipped something in my drink. He must have thought it would be funny," he added, crossing his arms over his chest.

As he came up into a clearing, his thoughts had to be put on hold as he noticed another familiar face just ahead of him. Clint sat on a rock, one leg pulled up, the other dangling off the side, and he sat smoking a rather large hookah, blowing circles into the air before blowing smoke-arrows to shoot through the circles.

Bruce slowly approached, uncertain about what to expect after last time. "Uh... Clint?" he asked, nervously.

Clint turned his gaze to Bruce, his eyes hazy. "Who are you?" he asked, harshly blowing a smoke-arrow into Bruce's face.

Coughing and trying to wave the smoke away, Bruce answered, "I'm Bruce. Bruce Banner. I... I think," he added as an afterthought.

"You think," Clint repeated, looking un-amused. "Who are you?" he insisted.

"I just told you," Bruce stated, irritated. "Bruce Banner. One of the Avengers. Your friend?"

Clint shrugged, blowing more smoke circles. "A name means little when you don't know who you truly are on the inside." He glanced at Bruce before blowing another arrow up into the air.

Bruce huffed. He knew who he was. He thought he did, at any rate. "Could you just tell me if you've seen Agent Coulson run past here?" he demanded, getting annoyed.

"I have," Clint coolly answered.

Excitedly, Bruce stepped closer. "Where did he go, which way?!" he demanded, desperately.

Clint nodded to a path behind Bruce. "There. But tread carefully," he advised as Bruce began rushing off. "Remember who you are inside."

"What terrible advise, especially for me," Bruce grumbled as he hurried away. As he got further and further away from Clint, he started to feel more and more sure of himself.

The closer Bruce got to wherever he was going, the more he realized that Clint may have led him right back the way he'd come, and then some. His suspicions were realized when he stepped into another clearing before a gate on which a note read, "Mad Tea Party."

"I guess I don't really have a choice now," he sighed, stepping through the gate.

He hadn't quite been expecting what he found. Tony, Steve and Pepper all sat at a table together, Tony checking a watch and wearing a tophat which appeared to be made of scraps from his Iron Man costume. Steve appeared to have blond rabbit ears, and Pepper had ginger mouse ears. Pepper was fast asleep at the table, her elbow embedded in a full cup of tea, while Steve watched Tony angrily.

"Um... Excuse me," Bruce began, nervously.

Tony and Steve quickly looked up. Pepper didn't move. "No room!" Tony quickly called, but Steve got up.

"There is plenty of room," he insisted, motioning for Bruce to join them with a welcoming smile. "Would you care for a cup of tea? Perhaps some cake? Tea? Cake?"

Bruce approached, shaking his head as Steve forcefully sat him down in a chair and pushed it in a bit too far. After struggling a moment, Bruce pushed his chair back out. "I... I'm sorry to interrupt your tea party, but I was just wonderi-"

"Why!" Tony shouted, pointing at Bruce. "Is rage a blessing and a curse?"

The question surprised Bruce. Was it supposed to be a riddle? It wasn't a very good one, if it was. "I... I don't see rage as a blessing at all," he answered, frowning at the question. He might have been more offended if this was the Tony that was his friend.

Steve looked at his cup of tea. "Cup's clean," he grunted.

"MOVE DOWN!" Tony cried, grabbing Pepper by the arm and pulling her down several seats while Steve ushered Bruce along with them. Pepper stirred for a moment before falling back into her sleep beside Tony, who placed a hand in her hair, gently petting her ears as though to soothe her. "Now. Have you answered my riddle?" he asked, grinning at Bruce wickedly.

"There is no answer," Bruce insisted, frowning. "Because rage can't be a blessing."

Tony shook his head. "Oh, but it can be. You just aren't thinking properly."

Bruce stood, slamming his hands on the table. "Look!" he growled. "I just want to find Coulson and get out of here! So, have you seen him or not?!"

Boredly, Tony stirred his tea with his finger, not looking at Bruce. "We saw him, yeah. He went right past, just up that way."

"Thank you," Bruce firmly, responded, marching away from them.

"Ahh," Pepper sighed, shifting a little under Tony's hand. "The Queen... She'll take your head, I fear..."

But Bruce was already too far away to hear Pepper's sound advice.

"How far does this place go, anyway?" Bruce wondered out loud, pausing to lean against a tree with a long, tired sigh. He felt as though he'd been walking for hours, but he was certain it hadn't been that long. It couldn't have been, Coulson would have come looking for him if it had been that long... Wouldn't he?

Sadly sighing, Bruce pulled away from the tree. "Better get going, I suppose," he grumbled, beginning to move again. But he was suddenly brought to a halt again to the cry of, "Have at thee, beast!"

Bruce jumped back as a white horse carrying Thor, clad in his normal attire though shaded entirely in white instead of red and silver, nearly ran him over. "Excuse me?" Bruce demanded, bristling a bit, but he stopped when he noticed just who Thor was speaking of.

Across the clearing from Thor stood Loki, dressed in red as opposed to his normal green and gold. "Ah," he chuckled, stepping out of the shadow of a tree. "The White Knight has returned, I see. Come to take my head, brother dear?"

"Your reign has gone far enough, Loki!" Thor snapped, jumping down from his horse and in front of Bruce. "And now you mean to bring Bruce into this as well, is that it?"

Bruce blinked. Since when had he been a part of this at all?

Loki shrugged. "I just cannot get anything past you, can I?" he laughed, reaching a hand out. "Now then... Come to me, dear Bruce. I'll teach you to play croquet and act like quite the gentleman. You may be king one day, perhaps when I have had my fun."

Thor held Mjolnir at the ready. "Nay!" he snapped in response.

"Let him decide," Loki scolded, wagging a finger at Thor.

However, Bruce still found himself confused. "What am I deciding on?" he asked as Thor led him forward.

"Will you ally yourself with me, Bruce?" Thor demanded, towering over Bruce.

"Or with me?" Loki added, stepping forward.

Bruce looked between the brothers, not completely certain what he was agreeing to exactly. "I... I don't..." His eyes widened as he caught sight of Coulson darting between the trees. Coulson paused, looking back at Bruce and nodding for him to follow.

"I have to go," Bruce quickly answered, running after Coulson. Though Coulson was moving slower than before, Bruce still found it difficult to keep up with him. "Wait!" he insisted, desperately. "Please! I just want to know how to get back! Please!"

"Get back?"

Bruce stopped and looked up, hearing Natasha's voice above him. She grinned down at him from her perch. "Why would you need to do that?"

"I'm lost," Bruce insisted, desperately. "That's why!"

"Are you?" Clint asked, resting at the base of a tree before him. "Or have you just lost yourself?"

Pausing to think about this, Bruce shook his head. "Isn't that the same thing..?"

"Off with your head, off with your head..." Pepper tiredly sighed from her spot in Tony's lap. Tony and Steve sat in chairs across from Clint.

"Care for some tea?" Steve offered. "Or cake?"

Bruce rushed past them all. "No! I need to get back! To my real friends! To the real Avengers!"

"Bruce?" a gentle voice called. "Bruce."

Shifting slightly, Bruce's eyes slowly opened. "Nn..." he groaned, sitting up. His arm was slightly wet from drooling on it, and he glanced up to see Natasha looking down at him.

"S-sorry," Bruce laughed. "Did I... Fall asleep?"

Natasha snorted. "You sure did. And your snoring was so distracting Nick called lunch. They were just gonna leave you in here.

A light pink blush dusted over Bruce's cheeks. "Oh... That's embarrassing."

"Whatever, it's better than sitting here listening to Fury bumble through scientific crap," Natasha laughed, helping Bruce up. "Come on, big guy. Let's get you to a real bed, hm?"

As they walked down the hall, Bruce had to ask, "Natasha... Do you happen to like cats?"

"Mm... A bit... Why?"

"Just curious."


End file.
